The Boy Scouts of America: An Oath That Needs Updating

I was thinking today about the Boy Scouts of America’s purpose, what with all of the anti-Boy Scout rhetoric these days due to their adherence to Christian values. Isn’t one of the major purposes of the BSA to prepare boys for the world? I have to say they are doing a pretty poor job. I mean, no gays in leadership? Teaching survival skills? No interneting 101? No Tweeting? Isn’t that fundamental? Their silly oath goes something like this:

“On my honor I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country
and to obey the Scout Law;
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong,
mentally awake, and morally straight”

Wow! How backwards! Antiquated, even! Might as well throw in some Pennsylvania Dutch, am I right? As a service to the Boy Scouts, I think we can make some progress in dragging the BSA into the 21st century, by revising their oath. Here goes:

“On my honor, I will try, but cannot guarantee,
To respect the God (or lack thereof) of my choosing and my country (though only if it is led by people I agree with),
and to obey the Scout Law when it is convenient;
To help people when I can, but force others to help when I cannot;
To keep myself physically strong by only eating organically, and by promising to avoid the Atkins diet, to remain intellectually dishonest if it suits me, and to affirm all moral codes, including sexual orientations (wait, aren’t I only 10 years old?) regardless of their value.”

That should do it. Now maybe Boy Scout troop meetings can be held in civic buildings again. Do I hear a second?

– David Teesdale is proud to have been a Boy Scout and commends them for standing for moral values in a time when the only thing that society wants to affirm is moral relativity.

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