I walked out to my mailbox on Monday, a daily ritual of suspense and excitement for me. I never know what I will get–a letter from an associate, summons for jury duty, a collection agent’s threats against my family and friends, or a once in a lifetime offer from a Nigerian Prince who needs my help to earn his inheritance, and would love to share it with me, of all people. My mailbox is a treasure trove of delights and amusements. I get junk mail for someone with the last name of ‘Ceesdale’, because AT&T apparently cannot afford to pay college graduates when they surreptitiously sell my personal information to spam artists. Thanks AT&T.
But today, I have a different bone to pick. I was excited to discover a crisp envelope postmarked from the U.S. Census Bureau; my first as a homeowner on my own, with my own family. This is a once in every ten years opportunity to do my duty and to stand up and be counted. Easy. Of course, upon opening the letter, I did not find a census form, but rather a letter from the Director of the Census Bureau, Robert M. Groves. The letter read:
“Dear resident [how personal],
About one week from now, you will receive a 2010 Census form in the mail. When you receive your form, please fill it out and mail it in promptly.”
Are you serious? I wasted my time on this? Did I seriously get a letter warning me that the government is going to send me another letter? Do I even need to point out how ridiculously wasteful this is? Forty two cents for every household that this ‘alert’ was sent to? Not to mention the absurd $13 billion sum that the U.S. government is wasting on ads that aired during the Super Bowl, of all places. And, I presume, of the $13 billion, is the $1.2 million that has gone into the sponsorship of the U.S. Census car, driven by Greg Biffle on the NASCAR circuit. Oh, but the letter went on…
“Your response is important. Results from the 2010 Census will be used to help each community get its fair share of government funds for highways, schools, health facilities, and many other programs you and your neighbors need. Without a complete, accurate census, your community may not receive its fair share.”
Excuse me? Fair share? Now, I am acutely aware of the fact that the Obama Administration has brought us to the brink of pseudo-socialism, but using the words “fair share” twice in one paragraph is a little much. May Day isn’t for another two months. Just so we are clear, the Constitution speaks to what the census is to be specifically used for: enumeration. For those of you who attended public school (joking, I am a P.S. product), that means to count.
Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons.* The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct.
*Modified in the 14th Amendment.
I don’t see anything in there about redistributing wealth based upon the perceived “need” of people groups who responded to the Enumeration. That, of course, could just be the cynical federalist in me though. The one that wants to follow the mandate of the Constitution that those things be taken care of by the States. Just so you know, the U.S. Census Bureau says that $400 billion will be apportioned based on these results. No pressure or anything.
Anyway, the letter closes by thanking me in advance for my help. That got me thinking… What exactly am I helping with? So I checked to see what the actual questions on the census were, since I was under the impression, as the Constitution requires, that this was used simply for enumeration and apportionment of Representatives. Of the ten questions:
- How many people were living or staying in this house, apartment, or mobile home on April 1, 2010?
Good, good, we’re on the right track!
- What is your telephone number?
Wait, why do you need to know everyone in America’s phone number?
- What is Person 1’s sex?
Or my sex? Does my gender factor into how much “fair share” that I get? Isn’t that a tad discriminatory? I think I will leave that one blank, thanks.
- Is Person 1 of Hispanic, Latino or Spanish origin?
Um, thanks, but no thanks. My “need” is not based upon race, and in a just society the government should not need to know these things. Further, the Constitution requires you to count me. Not to be my nanny. Thanks again.
Finally, at the bottom of the census warning, the aforementioned alert was reiterated. In Spanish. Then in Japanese. Then in Chinese. Then Vietnamese. Then in what I can only presume is Russian. Or Arabic. In any case, the U.S. Census is intended to count citizens. Not folks who can’t understand or translate a simple U.S. government form (hah!). The problem is, is that the Obama Administration desperately wishes to count illegal immigrants and other under-represented populations–forgetting the fact that they are under-represented because they aren’t citizens and ACORN can’t get them fake I.D.’s fast enough.
The Center for Immigration Studies found that the presence of illegal immigrants in the 2000 Census resulted in NINE Congressional seats changing hands. As Michelle Malkin detailed in April, the Obama D.H.S. is continuing the tradition, started in the Carter Administration, of not enforcing immigration laws during the Census in order to protect privacy], by “reversing the work of investigative agents who have uncovered massive document fraud at illegal alien work sites and cutting immigration and customs enforcement operations at the knees.”
The difference in passage of the health care debate in the House this Spring may be less than nine votes. Bigger targets loom for liberals if we allow this senseless Census tomfoolery to continue, and more seats are apportioned to districts with looter class illegals responding to Census inquiries.
David Teesdale, is throwing his full support behind subsidies for Farmville farmers. These can be paid in Schrute bucks or Stanley nickels. In case you don’t already know, the exchange rate for these currencies to the U.S. dollar is the same as the exchange rate of unicorns to leprechauns. This value is commensurate with the societal value of Farmville, but I suspect that these subsidies will result in 2-3 lost ducklings being returned to their mothers per farmer. This is about the people, after all. And the ducks.