Healthy Choice: More Fast Food in Public Schools

Taco Bellyache: When you really want to punish your toilet. 62% of largely obese American children received free or reduced lunch--so the key to reducing their waistline is by giving them... more food? How about having parents stop them from playing with their Wii's?

Let’s face it.  American kids are fat.  And they are getting fatter.  It costs the U.S. $147 billion a year in health care dollars for “fat related” diseases.  First Lady Michelle Obama for some reason has even deemed it a threat to our national security and has declared war on fatties.  On Tuesday she unveiled a program to combat childhood obesity.  After all, that is what we elect our politicians and their wives to do.  To shape up our children.  So what is the Obamas’ plan to combat cholesterol and cottage cheese among the school aged children of America?  Overhaul the Childhood Nutrition Act by banning from schools vending machines with snacks and expanding the public school breakfast and lunch program to serve more kids!  Awesome plan.

Except that I have a better idea.  Why not mandate that public schools install more fast food restaurants?  See, if we were really concerned about our kids’ health, then the key is more KFC and Taco Bell.  In fact, despite the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s claims that the meats it sends to public schools meets or exceeds the standards of commercial products, that just isn’t true.  Fast food joints from McDonald’s to Burger King and Jack in the Box have pathogen and bacteria screening standards that are five to ten times more stringent than those governing the meat that we pour down the gullets of our poor progeny.

In fact, the chicken used in school lunches is often from what are called “spent hens.”  These are chickens that K.F.C. and Campbell’s Soup won’t even buy and are usually reserved for use in pet food and compost.  Yet, the U.S.D.A. has deemed it fit to fill up little Tommy’s tummy.  Needless to say, this isn’t the best stuff to feed to our children, but can we expect anything less from the federal government?  As usual, this Administration’s only solutions to the problems of big government is… More government!  Got an unhealthy school lunch program and looking to shape up our overly round school kids?  Why, expand the school lunch program!  Any one else see the problems with this approach?

David Teesdale, has a fun fact: excess food from public school lunches cannot be given away or donated, so unused milk, tater tots and popsicles are regularly dumped in mass quantities into the trash.  Dumpster diving, anyone?

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